valentine's day quotes funny

Feb 6, 2017 - Explore UltraUpdates's board "Funny Valentine's Day Quotes", followed by 60542 people on Pinterest. – By Blaise Pascal, The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods. – By Albert Ellis, The bravest thing that men do is love women. I Will Always Be There For You Just Like I Was When We First Met.” Funny Valentines Day Quotes, Photo Credits Pinterest, #1. Your email address will not be published. How much would flowers cost then, 10 grand? I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. A. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io, Say "I Love You" With These Valentine's Day Crafts, 55 Best Valentine's Day Instagram Caption Ideas, 32 DIY Valentine's Day Gifts to Show Your Love, Where to Buy Chocolate Covered Strawberries, The Sweetest Valentine's Day Breakfast Ideas Ever, 25 Sweet Valentine's Day Quotes for Friends, 45 Valentine's Day Quotes That Celebrate Love, Valentine's Day Dinner Recipes for a Cozy Night In, 15 of the Best Valentine's Day Gifts on Amazon. Funny Valentine’s Day quotes for thought. Men just need a place.” — Billy Crystal, “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” — Bill Maher, “Marriage is like a bank account. Find the best messages and cards for every occasion. Good Housekeeping participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. ", "I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. It all depends on what you put into it. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. Here are some funny Valentine's Day quotes that are bound to put a smile on your face.

While Americans started passing hand-made valentines back and forth in the early 1700s, it wasn't until the 1840s that mass-produced valentines–courtesy of Esther A. Howland, a.k.a., “Mother of the Valentine in America"—made their debut. — Lucille Ball, “Love is a fire. "Without Valentine's Day, February would be, well, January.

", "All you need is love. Funny Valentines Day Quotes In each relationship humor performs a key job, if you will make your life partner smile, you will have a nice relationship with him/her. ", "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. We will show you just how to bring out the joke without comprising on the theme of the day with our list of funny valentine’s day quotes. – By John Kenneth Galbraith, Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. “To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.”, “You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind.”, “Honesty is the key to a relationship. ", Virtual Babysitting Is Winning Over Parents, Why You Have Vivid Dreams During Quarantine, The Best Indoor Plants to Liven Up Your Home, This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day. I love romance. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt.” — Henny Youngman, “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. the heartfelt message in your Valentine's Day card, the perfect caption for your latest Instagram pic. Well, not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu.

And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. Woman's Day participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. – By Mickey Rooney, Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. There’s a long life ahead of you and it’s going to be beautiful, as long as you keep loving and hugging each other. – By Hoosier Farmer, Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. In fact, some people actually consider humor to be an aphrodisiac. All I need is your hand in mine to be blissfully happy this Valentine Day, I love you.” — Valentines Day Quotes For Her, You are my strength, my joy, and my one true love. If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. I can’t wait to tell the whole world that you will be forever mine and I will be forever yours. A boy candy said to a girl candy” we must mint with each other”. – By Dorothy Parker, All you need is love.

If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni, “I’m now making a Jewish porno film. – By Rose Franken, Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, – By but not for love. Umm… easy, both. 21 Pumpkin Faces to Carve or Design This Halloween, 75 Creative Couple Halloween Costumes for Any Duo, 40+ Seriously Cute Halloween Cupcake Ideas, 32 Epic '80s Costumes to Try This Halloween, Cute, Kid-Friendly Valentine's Day Games to Try, This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. Oh Valentines day, a day filled with love all around. A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. The rest cheat in Europe.” — Jackie Mason, “Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schultz, “I like perfume and flowers.” — Donatella Versace, “Women love a self-confident bald man.” — Larry David, “Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.” — J. P. Senn, “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there. I love frogs.” — Cameron Diaz, See Also:Sweet Romantic And Cute Things To Say To Her, “My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked, and now she’s afraid of the light.” — Rodney Dangerfield, “Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.”, “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. People like Will Ferrell, Lily Tomlin, David Sedaris, and Jerry Seinfeld have all tackled the subject, and their thoughts are just as hilarious as you think they would be. As the 20th century dawned, improved technology saw printed cards beginning to replace handmade ones. – By Helen Rowland, A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. Who knows? – By Coco Chanel. Sometimes you want to be bold and move away from the traditional valentine’s practice where all people want to send are plain love quotes.

It's time to take the cliché phrase "live, laugh, love" seriously, because we've rounded up some of the funniest Valentine's Day quotes for your holiday reading pleasure.

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